Thoughs

Was thinking what would I be if I were not me, myself now. Wondering how would it be if I'm not one of them in my family. Just some random though and questions came through my mind out of sudden. Can't deny that I'm really blessed to have them by my side, it's really like everytime. Whenever conflict and problems came to me, they'll always be there with me. They might not contribute or helping me to solve my questions but they gave me what I really need which are encouragement and advises. Time flies and I'm no longer a kid. Growing up really isn't as easy as I thought, problems and stressness which really made me mentally break down most of the time. Was wondering how could my parents made it till today. They're not rich as others but not poor too. They work so hard and gives us everything we need and yet they never complain how suffer they're in fact. Can't describe how much I admired and loves my parents. Growing up really can made people's appreciated even more what they had in their life. I used to not closed with my dad becasue he's a very cool man but I realised my distance with him was actually much more closer already by very randomly. He might not tell us how much they love us, but he showed it. Idk what I can say other than thank you. Thank you for giving me this family. I can't ask for more and I promise I'll work harder to make you proud of me someday. I'll work harder and earn as much as I could to repay what you had gave to me. Thank you daddy mummy. I don't want need anything but five of us could stay healthy and live happily, that's it. 

Nineteen

How time flies, I'm nineteen already. This year birthday was slightly different with previous years. This year were with freinds too but more friends. Family didn't celebrate with me due to busyness. So much though accrosing my mind today make me cannot not to blog about it. Have to said that I'm really blessed to have all my friends by my side. It's like really everyone of you. Although some of my friend's couldn't make it to celebrate my birthday but I knew there're actually there for me. I don't really mind about celebration and present tbh, what I deeply care about is wishes and letters. If you knew me well, you'll probably knew collecting letters was one of my hobby's. Celebrated 4th times this year with different peoples. There's like no words to describe my feeling now, just too much. Feel like I'm really blessed and keep asking myself what do I did before made everything's good comes to me this year. Hahh, just too much really. Sincerely thank you so much for what you guys had did and gave to me, I just dk how to repay back and what I could only say were thank you, thank you and still thank you. Huuuu. Just let the picture talks. 

It's 1.13 am

Hello again! 

If you knew me well, you will probably knew I'm kind of emotional person especially in the midnight. Hahha. No matter how tired am I, once I lay on my bed my brain will non stop functioning. Thinking about my coming days, my friend's words to me, my body even my previous years stories. Too muchh. Have to say that there's something that keep bothering me for quite a time. But it's not an emotional thing this time, but for me it's like kind of blessed. I've been staying at home about 2 weeks without going out because I'm currently having semester break. I'm so bored till I actually start to scroll back our conversations (best mate*used to be* a.k.a my ex tho) HAHA well, it's been weeks we didn't talk to each other so I'm kind of missing him or should say the one who I can talk without filtering my words. I can get so comfortable by chit chatting and bullshitting with him until late night and I'm not feeling sorry at all cause I've to admit that I enjoy chatting with him so much. Have to say that I'm glad to have him in my life. I believed that he knew me more than some of my close friends do. By scrolling back our conversations on whatsapp really made me laugh myself sometimes till I found there's still some conversations on twitter's inbox few years ago. I actually feel like crying by reading all the messages not because of regreting or what, but I sincerely feeling blessed and thankful for being loved by someone so much. My replied were so cruel and mean but he's still being soft to me and tried to talk to me nicely just to fix back our relationship. Hahaa, I feel like screenshot them and send to you but then it seems to be kind of awkward so I just forget about it. It's still funny for me even tho I had read it for few times, hahha. And now, he's getting busier with his job so I didn't talk to him for few weeks. I know how important his career to him and I've my assignments with me too so yeahh, is okay. Let's just let it be. K, I'm done with my feelings. Thxbye :p 

Do I have to name every post?

Hello

It's kind of awkward to say, buy yeah. I'm back to blog. Hahh. I always think of blogging back when my heart was heavy or when my head was full of thoughts but I just felt like "duhh, just forget about it" because I don't have the courage to do so. Today, I finally make it! Have to say that blog had changed so much untill Idk how to use. I need sometimes to figure it out. *too old for all these,lol* Laughing so hard when I read back what I had posted previous years, I didn't deleted all of it instead reverted them to draft :) hehh, not much to say today. So bye for now!